A Trek through Costa Rica: Part IIIA: Turbulence in Turrialba

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The slopes around Turrialba, Costa Rica (photo: bidstrup.com)

Our SUV has become stuck in mud on a narrow jungle road for the second time this morning.

A few hours before dawn – before we’ve trekked across the mountain village of Turrialba to the office of our rafting outfitter – a brief thunderstorm had sent sheets of heavy rain pouring onto the slopes of the mountains, reducing much of the earth to dribbling brown liquid.

As the guides work to free the back tires, we struggle groggily out of the truck to stretch our legs on a dry part of the road, snacking on Clif Bars and surveying the scene below.

To the south down the road lay the low shacks and bridges of Turrialba. To the west and about a thousand feet straight down from the ridge, the two main rivers tumbling out of Costa Rica’s central mountain ranges – the Rio Pacuare and the Rio Reventazon – crookedly intersect, wriggling like a couple of long lazy earthworms washed out of their burrows.

From these heights the rivers look motionless and two-dimensional as photos, shimmering through a haze of evaporating fog and mist, shot through with mottles of bright sunrise. It’s breathtaking. And slightly intimidating. After all, in a few minutes we are scheduled to be on one of those rivers – the Rio Pacuare, one of the top rafting rivers in the world –  and headed into our first major Class IV rapid.

Finally the back tires spin free and we’re on our way again, bumping and roaring up and down steep jungle hills scattered with deciduous and banana and palm and the occasional wild coffee bush.

It doesn’t look like we’ll make our put-in time.
———————————-

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The Rio Pacuare. (photo: livingincostaricatoday.com)

Finally at the put in, we unpack our gear as our main guide, a short and friendly Tico who looks no older than 18, explains the situation.

Normally, he explains, they would do a test-run in calm water so that inexperienced rafters can practice pulling others back into the boat, and the ones being pulled in can get used to being in the water. Also in normal circumstances we’d all practice floating a small section of rapids in only our life jackets.

But it’s late – we’re behind, there are several other groups behind us, so the guide skips all this. Instead they just show us how to stay in the boat (by jamming our river sandals under the seat in the center), tell us to paddle like hell and “avoid the big holes”, and throw us in.

You can probably guess this is a bad idea. With the exception of my then-girlfriend, we’ve all rafted before. But our experience has been limited to predictable rapids in high desert rivers of no more than Class II or at most Class III, with few swells and no huge holes or obstacles in our way. This river….well, let’s just say this river is an entirely different beast. An angry, homicidal beast.

There’s a period of calm as we launch out in the shallows from the pebbled banks. The guide, perched at the rear with the steering paddle, goes over our upcoming route. We’ll be covering 18 miles of the Pacuare, with one break in between for lunch. Safety kayakers will be stationed to the aft and to the rear of us as we go.

This all sounds reasonable, reassuring. Less so when, seconds later, we’re shooting down the river toward our first Class III (made a Class IV by the rainstorm and the rise in river level), and I’m barely able to remain seated atop the side. It feels like I’ll be launched into the river at any moment.

We bang on easily through the first Class III even while straining to discern the guide’s shouted commands from the rear.  After catching our breaths, we look around at each other. Jungle birds shriek and chitter above us, invisible in the dense foliage drooping down from the canyon walls.

Is it supposed to feel this precarious? Why can’t I get a solid perch on this side? Should it be necessary to correct my balance every two seconds to stay upright even in calm water? Should I have bought rafting sandals in my own size, rather than borrowing my stepdad’s, which are much too large and already slipping off my feet? Am I just being a paranoid noob?

Then – BAM! A giant wave rears up bronco-like directly in front of us, towering over the stern of the boat, and the time for thinking is over. We plow directly into it.

We are aloft for a split, terrifying second, disconnected from the river, from the raft even  – I see the bodies of my companions beginning to float helplessly up from their sides as if gravity had become unbolted – and then we slam back down into the water at an indescribable angle, so violently that the whole front of the raft folds like a check mark. My neck pops and the teeth of my upper jaw crush against my mandible.

The rear of the raft pops out backward as it straightens itself out, flinging the guide’s body aftward. How his back is not broken after this little flight I still don’t know.

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This is like us, but with way more time IN the boat (photo: Wikipedia)

We have no time to catch our breaths or even to feel elated. A giant hole looms ahead. I blink, can’t quite believe what the visual information indicates, blink again. The river level drops at least 10 feet in directly in front of us. A long, flat ledge of rock marks the edge of the hole, and we’re only a few seconds away. Too close to do anything but hold on and plunge into it.

All higher thought disappears from my mind. Cold terror consumes me as I paddle. The guide screams behind us, jamming his steering oar as deep behind him as he can without losing grip on it – “Paddle! Paddle! Left side! Left side!”

Abstractly I think – dude, aren’t you the one who is supposed to be calm and keeping us together? He is clearly losing it.

We paddle as instructed. The edge draws nearer like an executioner’s blade. It’s like fighting a bear, pulling against this current. But we slowly coax the raft to our right. We’re clearing it! We’re clearing it! I think wildly.

But relief is short-lived. In our haste, we’ve over-corrected and don’t have time to get straight. The back end sweeps around almost 180 degrees. The stern catches the flat edge of the rock.

TO BE CONTINUED

Icebergs (Part I)

Icebergs (Part I)

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1.  Two Icebergs

Promises at dawn
Amount to nothing, at twilight.

She waits, she does
through sluggish afternoon, air conditioning
traffic crawling below
And worse,
Doom and Fate and Old:
the terror of
drying up before her time

It seems to her that always
he is spent by the day,
Programmed for the ground
Dashed, torn upon the curb
an accident victim

The accident of his Life
Just confounds him

She waits, she does.

But just so
Sound replaces light
Motion replaces reason
Lust replaces motivation
Frost replaces feeling

*****

2. The Frost

He is Sent out On an iceberg
Into the wide North Sea

No spear,
No fur
An expedition of one

In the towers
of the Trees
Crawling on bloody knees
he gathers the earth
in slabs of clay

Around his mud-streaked body
night falls
wind howls through corridors of fir
Snowladen and Black

A little further North
North seems right

*******

3. Suites

Credit goes to the crazy ones
Checking in, Checking out
Of their private hotel suites

She is one of those now

From the plastic pink deck chair
from the hotel’s penthouse
suddenly she knows the shape of this skyline

They all slide back, the details
like a row of dusty books removed from a shelf
then shoved back in all at once

A suite of Useless memories
that may as well be lies

His bed was over here, And over here the closet

Where above the suits and ties,
sat old primary school shoes
And a flimsy diorama he had made as a child, of the solar system

Often she stared at the diorama in the early morning beside him
And wondered how they two had happened to collide
in all the billions of miles of Space.

She couldn’t say now if in that whole of that solar system
he still  existed anywhere

The solar system of faded crepe paper and cardboard
smeared with Elmer’s paste
Yellowed, decade-hardened;

She wonders where it is
She wishes she had kept it.

Greeschlyn Can’t Fail

words and photography (c) 2013 by Benjamin J Spencer

When will you move?

A new town is called for.

You have your neat grass,
Your dew drops (you reason).

Then again you also have your stinging flies

And your defeated people
who look into empty, empty

shop windows,

Rubbing their hands together.

this is why You must move to Greeschlyn.
Greeschlyn cannot fail.

Why?

Greeschlyn has the most artfully glass-strewn of warehouses.

Greeschlyn’s water is pure lysergic acid.

Greeschlyn is glazed with two centuries of baker’s flour and petroleum

Greeschlyn’s young are clinically insane
(And They find this instructive)

In Greeschlyn, you can fish for starlight in cold, salty puddles
And eat moonlight cake with shy pledge-drive orphan kids

Greeschlyn

You see

Possesses those things that can strum your nerves like a lyre

And peel the skirt right off your pelvis

Momentous things
Glinting things.

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Amarillo

words (c) 2012 by Benjamin J Spencer

photography (c) 2011 by Benjamin J Spencer

Amarillo

Amarillo was the place
most aptly named
Yellow,
the harshest exposure of
Yellow

The day empties
The light dies
Sand pours from my eyes
Carves my dreams in granite

Dreams carry
big animals

Cribs of white pearl
(thin, pink plastic mattresses)
Sag
on Threadbare carpets
Stained with
Grape soda,
Chip oil,
Beer water

The Corrections Officer paces the Supermarket aisles
Scanning.
Aisle 7: toilet paper,
dry, wrapped
In Pyramids
Aisle 11: aluminum foil
skin-ripping Teeth glinting Flourescent
He Scans down every aisle now – Faster
With
rising panic
No
Exit

Outside
In Twilit cracked Slab asphalt Parking Lots
Soft and silent drops the Snow
Splotching green vinyl seats
Through Rusted-open doors of Broke-down Mustangs

Amarillo was the place where
Our Road Trip
announced it’s eternal end
Our Metal frames
Drooped, exhausted, overheated
Panting and Hissing

In this Yellow
The hardest tone of Yellow

The Seal

words (c) 2012  Benjamin J Spencer

photos (c) 2007 Benjamin J Spencer

The Seal

He tries to stop doing this thing.
Reinventing himself.
Removing.

But he is in the tide now floating out

They say you pick one life and stay within its borders
Its mannerisms and memories
Its committed parameters
Its field of options.

In this way you can find
Happiness.

He floats facedown now past the breakers,
staring into his future
Toward bottom.

He supposes he must learn to breathe in what is down there
In that cool expanse below
And let it calcify him
He will stick with the scuttling crayfish
And let their curling tails drag across his face
And watch his sides slicken with algaes
And let the gravel nibble his surface to chalk

In time he will be a smooth, wise head
They would call him teacher…
Master, maybe

But who to revel?
His sainted mother GodRestHerSoul? No.
Better to float.

How many have offered him poles? Ropes and Preservers?
His preferred state is submersion,
They couldn’t have known.

Long ago at the shore
a riptide tugged at him
and his feet dragged free from flat sand
He saw them rise in front
His toes surmounting the rolling swells
Swells
Which made of his body a mere bauble rising and falling on the sea

He expelled from his lungs all of the oxygen
Every last bit.
and sank under.
In the second before blackness
Fear and attachment
kicked his nearly-dead weight up to the air

Why he tested his mortality in this way he could not say.
Only he believed that part of him
still tied to the land and the air
To be already dead

And it distressed him to need them so.
All of them
All of those scrabbling people
Fucking and killing and fucking and killing upon little scraps of
Dust

While he
A Seal

Sealed in self-nourishing layers
of Fat
and skin

Snout and whiskers to navigate
Silent
swift
solitary

Now abreast in cold wild waters,
Now hovering off of golden shorelines

A myth that the world only half-believes in.

For Benji

Related

Related

And that is why we are related.

You said this one time
(In the storm-swept winter,
in the era when when we two
– on any night –
could be found
running through the dirty snow
in your neighborhood).

We are related, it’s true,
But not as we would wish.

One like the red moon streaming
Through night-old pines
Illuminating the wanderings
of the night creatures
Fueling the wet respiration
that climbs from the forest floor
upon a ladder of boughs
to the atmosphere

The other chalk dry
like a faded wooden raft
bleaching in the heat of noon
half-sunken at a lake’s edge
A still life
A postcard sent long ago
To a dead-letter address

One burning through their third booster
Hurtling
toward the sucking lip
of our fragile world,
Seeking to Transcend

The other sinking off into silence
Slumbering with the old, red Earth
Solid,
but forgotten underneath
The crush of life

10.18.2004 – The Ramstein Air Show Disaster – Original Essay

A JOURNAL OF THE RAMSTEIN AIR SHOW DISASTER

A Tribute/Parody of Daniel Defoe’s “Journal of the Plague Year”

by Benjamin J Spencer

WITH THIS DOCUMENT, or rather, testament, I will attempt to recreate for you, dear reader, the specific circumstances involved in the horrible disaster which occurred upon the date of 28 August, 1988, at Ramstein Air Force Base near the town of Frankfurt (in what was then West Germany).

This is but a poor account of a day of indescribable horror, and may I never live to experience another of its like.

I arrived at this base – which is to this day still regarded the center of European operations for the United States Air Force under the grand tenets of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization – as I say, I arrived at this base in rather high spirits, as the annual Flug Tag, as the Germans say, was about to begin.

And truly it had promised to be a rather exciting display of aerial acrobatic prowess. A number in excess of 300,000 spectators, whether military or civilian in appointment, eagerly awaited the opening flyover of jet aircraft, a customary commencement ritual at the annual event.

My military designation was as a sometime civilian contractor, and as a consequence I was not chosen to join the gathering of officials and dignitaries seated in ascending rows of bleachers, apart from the general population. I stood instead in the commoner’s area near the landing strip (though this unsuitable arrangement did not overly offend me, as I strive always to remain a keen and unbiased Observer of Humanity in all its God-given variety, hue and temperament.

Predictably, though – and I might add disagreeably – the hapless poor had heaped themselves in large closely-packed throngs, squirming, braying at a deafening level, consuming great excesses of beer and spirits, and in general behaving with that minimum of social decorum which all such classes are wont to do.

I daresay that if they had been less eager to press themselves together and intemperately gorge on spirits, thus shamefully impairing their faculties, perhaps the effect of the disaster might not have been so dire.

The poor simple souls! They cannot be fully blamed for their ignorant and passionate natures.

* * * * * * * * *

The day was gauzily overcast but otherwise quite fine. Low forested hills arose behind the grey asphalt of the landing road.

Presenntly the opening jet formation flew directly over the heads of the spectator, occasioning great roars of jubilation from the crowd. The show was begun.

The multitudes were held rapt as the daring  jet aviators flipped, twirled and banked in effortless unisonin one moment swooping gloriously upward into the heavens, the next tumbling into a precipitous dive toward the Earth, avoiding the inflexible impact of death with mere inches to spare.

Now, the most spectacular display involved nine Italian Air Force jets, collectively know as Frecce Tricolori, viz., the Tricolored Arrows in the fanciful manner of those blessed to live in the fairer regions of Europe.

The Tricolored Arrows rocketed in unison over the crowd. But, as these nine planes were aligned in a heart-shaped formation perpendicular to the ground, all flying at low speed, one of the pilots suddenly broke away from the rest to perform a complicated maneuver.

During the first moments of the exhibition, murmurs of awe arose as one from the assembled, and all faces, tilted unswervingly as they were at the sky, at once betrayed the very type of boundless admiration and respect for these noble airmen as might be accorded by any mortal to a cadre of heavenly hosts dropped down for a visit.

But now, as this one Arrow broke away, arrived the moment that would immediately transfigure each benignly wondering visage into an open-mouthed mask of terror.

For unbeknownst to all in the crowd, this plane – which had in a manner sheared away from the rest – had dipped too closely to the ground, and the pilot was , it to retain control of his craft. No doubt owing to sheer confusion, the hapless airman suddenly corrected his flight in the exact opposite direction – directly into the flight paths of the two other fellows beside him.

All sound seemed to cease in the seconds before the terrible moment of collision. And then – chaos!

From my vantage point near the runway, it appeared as if somehow, fantastically, in that paralyzed instant, all three planes literally imploded into the same tiny point of space and fused into one mass of metal: but then the moment was spent, and the laws of physical intertia regained their awful, inexorable power. 

Two of the craft tumbled harmlessly down the runway, molten together into a pulsating ball of orange flame and twisted steel. But the third jet’s trajectory became immediately, horrifyingly clear to all.

This massive jet fighter ricocheted off the ground, then sailed, screeching over the blacktop and directly toward the crowd presently surrounding a concessions vehicle.

The great steel behemoth catapulted and slid across the broad field for a distance of not less than fifteen hundred meters before coming to rest against the vehicle; yet its velocity and power were so tremendous, not enough time remained to these poor souls even to scream: the flaming jet was upon them.

* * * * * * * * *

It would not be seemly to dwell upon the miseries inflicted upon the dead or the injured that day.

But I can faithfully report that the accident occurred within so brief a span of time – as I was told later, only three seconds elapsed between the collision and the deadly landing – and the flames so hellishly hot – nearly 1600 degrees Fahrenheit – that few human observers had a reasonably chance to flee the scene even though they watched the whole catastrophe.

70 persons died either instantly or shorty following the crash. But several accounts have been revealed to me that I have been assured are true in relation to some of the 500 survivors at the site – which covered a large area owing to the flaming debris shooting out from all directions, and which smoked and smoldered for several hours afterward as brave rescuers endeavored mightily to preserve as many lives as possible.

One of the most fantastical accounts related to me tells of a woman who had been standing near the jet when it first impacted the ground.

As the jet pierced the soil, its massive bulk  plowed up a giant ramp of earth, which promptly buried the woman and buffered her from any further harmful effects of flame or heat. The plane then ricocheted aloft once again, and she was found – thanks to that almighty Hand which spares us all – frightened but very much alive soon after the rescue efforts began.

Regrettably, the great majority of survivors had not the same protection, and several wandered from the field naked, disoriented or otherwise in shock, and burned over much of their bodies, only to be discovered and treated by observant medical workers – may of whom had arrived on the scene mere seconds after the disaster and who pulled countless wounded back from the jaws of death.

Others of the disoriented survivor would not wait for help, rashly clambering into vehicles and attempting to transport themselves and their family members off the base in order to reach medical centers, and even in some cases appropriating government or military vehicles and exiting the grounds before they could be prevented by authorities.

* * * * * * * * *

In spite of the overwhelming scale of the disaster, the physicians of the emergency service and the helicopter rescue teams performed outstandingly well, and though the hospitals surrounding the Ramstein Air Base fairly overflowed with patients suffering from the most grievous and life-threatening of injuries, a great many of those showered with debris survived and went back to their lives out in the wide world.

As for this observer, however: I am of the opinion that no amount of soothing treatment may ever be able to fully expunge the bitter memories from the minds of those who witnessed the event.

I can only be grateful to that merciful One who saw fit to preserve me safely in this world for the other tasks He has appointed to me.

THE END

10.01.2004 – As Far As Monmouth: A D.H. Lawrencian Rant – Literary Parody

AS FAR AS MONMOUTH (A LAWRENCIAN RANT)

  By Benjamin J Spencer

      Bright dry dawn breaks as we motor toward the queen ant’s former home this Thanksgiving morning. The freeway shoulder glistens cold grey.  Frost tendrils creep across the earth, advance riders on the front flanks of winter’s full legion, silently scouting and reconnoitering the land. The thinnest icy surface settles fleetingly on the bare trunks and bare fields all about the freeway.

Drab trampled fields, spiky and harvest-ravaged, lay naked and exhausted, spread cruelly open to the repeated freeze and thaw of night and day. The sky blazes bright and translucent as skim milk. The sun wilts, half-hearted, it’s warmth a distant prospect.

Far out in the fields under hanging mists, large metal objects glint: abandoned tractors and combines, pipes and sprinklers, hulks of trucks, all  immobile, all waiting for the men to make them come alive.

On our left, Mount Hood floats in a separate plane beyond field and forest.  Silver haze obscures her massive base, but the edges of her glaciered slopes are cut supernaturally sharp, indented into the white-blue sky.  She floats as sleek and remote and pastel as a children’s book rendering of Olympus. Certainly she is a commanding image when apprehended straight on, but the moment I look away she flees my rational mind, dissolving into my unconscious as quickly as rain evaporates from a desert floor. From my window she exists only in two dimensions, a phantasmagoric rice-paper print all but flickering in and out of existence – pretty but false.

****

     The q.a. sighs and murmurs in slumber, curled shrimp-like in the passenger’s seat. Our little defrosting jets blow valiantly, but the windows are yet cloudy after half an hour of driving.

A stench of hot oil and exhaust reaches us. A sport utility vehicle roars past us without so much as a signal.  Little orange flags flutter wildly from either side of its massive hood.

All those little flags on all those countless sports utility vehicles! Think of all the labor, the cloth and the dye expended to furnish those flags for the faithful. Think of all the hapless freeway drivers they will distract.  Think of the children they will endanger.

The American values his college sporting event above all else. Occupation, family, health, all these necessities trail in the American’s eyes behind the bright sinister advertisements of the college publicity machines. They race their vehicles with a terrible conviction. They bully and weave like fighters, and when they reach the stadium they jeer and bellow and smear their faces with paint, eyes bulging white and rolling like a frightened horse’s. They are given little banners to wave and little chants to shout and little kicking cheerleaders to ogle. They conceal their paunches in their belts, eager to participate in this overproduced, manufactured revelry. Ah, the happy multitudes! How utterly miserable!

****

     Arrive in Monmouth and are of course stopped by a police officer, less than a hundred meters into the town.

The cruiser lights spin silently blue and red, blue and red on our dashboard. The gravel crunches under our tires as we park, waking the q.a. who stares reproachfully at me.

The officer takes his time.  He demonstrates his power over us with the utmost trained casualness.  The warning lies not in his face; no, his face holds all the expression of a blackjack dealer.  It lies in his bearing, his posture ramrod straight and physically imposing.  It lies in his movements, the darting of his head as he examines my papers, the sinew just below the skin of his neck.  It lies in his flashlight, which he shines periodically straight into my shrinking pupils. His hands are sheathed in thin woolen gloves.

“California plates,” he notes, lips pursed disapprovingly.

“What were we stopped for?” asks the q.a.

“License plate light is out.” woolen gloves replies.

To his obvious dismay our papers are impeccable.  The woolen gloves impatiently wave us on.

Later we examine the plates. The lights are working properly. The q.a. gasps. “Why, you’d think it was a crime to have a different state license!” she rages.

****

     Arrive at the q.a.’s childhood home. A black-haired pixie of seventeen sucks on to us like a lamprey. The lamprey is the q.a.’s sister.  She squeals and pesters us until finally I escape into the restroom.  Flowers on the counter, and scented toilet paper, and U.S. Catholic magazines back to July.

We are summoned to dinner.  The large Irish-Catholic family is assembled. A shriveled and horrid-looking corned beef and cabbage plate shares the table with turkey and gravy, mashed potatoes and pink cranberry punch.

The turkey is quite fine and juicy, but there is only a smidgen of it for us before it is gone.  The old buzzards, the grandfathers and uncles, hoard the darkest and finest meat in heaps on their plates. They bury their precious hoards under towering drifts of mashed potatoes and steaming gravy, and deposit the green peas hastily in the pockets remaining. They proceed to chew noisily, smacking and slurping with gusto, and talking all the while.

Long ago was the day the buzzards decided they were too old to observe manners and civility and all that nonsense. I suppose when more hair sprouts from my ears than does from my pate I will sympathize.

****

In the dim smoky family room the old buzzards lounge in recliners and on sofas, swelling bellies stuck up like islands, belts loosened and dropped to the hips.  They drone on about the sad state of American politics.

In from the other room floats snippets of the ladies discussing the latest films and the laughter of the little cousins.  The little cousins look like miniature door-to-door encyclopedia salesmen, in their little cheap rumpled khaki suits, and the gleaming gelled hair sculpted artfully by their mothers. Their little heads resemble pale sausage ends squeezing out of plaid cardigans. But of course they still behave as little children, running this way and that, and jumping over us, and flatulating impressively for the amusement of the others and to the horror of the aunts around the table. The older children have been banished willingly to the small back room where they sit crosslegged and openmouthed, faces bathed in the pixel glow of a video game.

The q.a.’s mother hoists three enormous pumpkin pies out of the refrigerator and positions them impressively on the dessert counter. She steps back proudly and calls for the diners to return if they can.

Alarmed, the buzzards stare at each other, place their hands on swelling bellies, sigh heavily. It must be done.  It is their only job on this day of thanks and joy. They must partake of the women’s culinary labors or the social order will break down.

Groaning and huffing, they somehow lift their bodies out of the easy chairs and lumber into the kitchen.

****

     A fire of cedar logs has been lit; the great flat slab of a stone hearth warms our backsides and we grow sleepy. This bland holiday grows more humdrum and obligatory with each passing year.  Yet I suppose there is comfort in tradition.

The Irish family’s bank of shared tradition is rather impressive. The family myths and folklore, that very Irish feeling of family destiny and prominence; these are not so much actively learned as they are absorbed by a child growing up, as if from the very air of the house or the grain in the wood. They belong, if I may say, in the category of extra-sensory perception.

The arbitrary cultural illusions of history and familial bonds become concrete realities to an Irishman. His sense of self and his place in the world are ultimately maintained or destroyed by them.

****

     Blue wood-smoke curls out of the chimney.  The q.a.’s father chops wood on the porch. The cracking sound of the splitting logs, and the hollow thock as the kindling strikes the concrete, satisfy my soul.  Here is how civilization began, with wild male strength and surety, with physical labor and reckless power in the free open spaces of the world.

This domestication, these gatherings and niceties and neat wedges of pumpkin pie, these pious murmurings of thanks and submission, these plaid cardigans and rumpled sausage-casing suits, they do not become us men. We must bring wildness back into the world.

I let the chill wind numb my face and gaze upon the dimming western horizon. The broad pink sky fades to purple and then blackens entirely. The house lights wink on.